A Personal Look at the Importance of Estates.
Life Events. These are what
trigger us to do some serious introspection, to start planning. Most of us
think we plan, but I’m sure many of us are guilty of procrastinating ‘grown-up’
stuff. For example, estate and wealth planning – by no means am I considered ‘wealthy’,
but I do understand the value of taking care of my loved ones. Perhaps it is
because it was such a hard journey for us to have a bigger family.
Inconceivable -
Babies and the Fertility Dog.
I see plastic serving utensils, poker chips,
graffiti-scribbled napkins, pens, broken crayons, raisins, shreds of paper,
drool, apple jacks and other rogue pieces of toys. No, I am not
looking in the garbage can, I am looking at our living
room. Souvenirs from the 2 Kaplan boys (well, maybe 3 including Michael).
Not too long ago, I could not even have imagined this. Not too long ago, it was just Michael, Bruno and me. We were trying to START the family we dreamed off - and it was harder than we thought.
Lots of options were explored while I pursued acupuncture, diet changes, eastern medicine, fertility massages (which did have multiple benefits).
We found a wonderful doctor that helped us along the way - Dr. Brian Kaplan. Many visits later - finally success! Over the moon! We excitedly started preparing for our arrival. After the crucial 1st trimester passed, I was getting more pressure from work. Bruno and Gizmo (our family dog) were lying down with me a lot more when I got home. They sensed there was something wrong. Things weren't right. I was directed to bed rest. I thought we were fine. But we weren't. We lost our first baby at home. Devastated does not even begin to describe the pain. The best description I could use - inconsolable. I missed him. I still do. And now, here I am crying as I type.
A friend who lost a child once said, she was no longer afraid of dying, knowing she will see her baby again.
I'll see our Angel again.
As soon as I was able, we were trying for another baby. For folks who have been blessed to start a family easily, you probably are not too familiar with fertility treatments. I thought I understood everything, I discovered I only know a little bit of this science. Even with all the doctor visits, blood tests and medications, the hardest thing to deal with was the wait. How soon can we check if we will be parents? We waited. The wait took years.
Then, during a break from online research, I stumbled upon a foto of a goofy puppy needing a home. Looked like a shepherd, but was half husky. I needed to channel my maternal instinct and convinced Michael we needed to 'foster' this dog. So, we (Michael, Bruno and me), trucked over to the shelter. Whoa. Love at first sight. She bonded immediately with Bruno and made me laugh. Michael said we should just think about it, and I did. I brought her home while Michael was out. Well, Bruno and I did. And Frida moved in (permanently).
Bruno now had to share his castle, but I know he loved having a little side kick. I trained with her, and boy, did she spark some laughter in this house. She would lie in bed with me frequently, but she started lying her head on my belly more and more. A few weeks after Frida came home, we discovered I was pregnant. All that stress to start a family vanished when puppy came to us. She is our little Fertility Dog.
Cautiously optimistic, I did everything I could to play it safe. I didn't even work out. (Well, that was a little more self-serving). Diligently, I went to the doctor each week, blood tests, ultrasounds, CVS (not the drug store), and more. After each trimester, I felt a sense of relief. Then one day, I had a headache I could not get rid of. It got progressively worse. I noticed swelling under my right eye. So, my mom brought me to the doctor. I had an infection. I had to be checked into the hospital immediately. I had to be quarantined as to not make the infection worse. I was 8 months pregnant.
I called Michael to tell him I was being admitted to the hospital, but I had to let work know and asked if he could bring my laptop and an overnight bag. Michael rushed over immediately. And he did bring exactly what I asked for - my laptop - in an overnight bag. And nothing else. Very literal of him. But he was nervous. To make up for an empty overnight bag, he brought over 3 weeks-worth of clothes the next day - mostly pants.
The usual protocol for infection called for medication that would risk putting me in pre-mature labor. I had the MRI, blood tests and an incredible headache throughout. But the one thing I wanted the results on the most was from the pre-natal nurse that came several times a day to check the baby's heartbeat. I anxiously listened to the doppler to make sure baby was ok. Our doctor was incredible. Dr. Patricia Larson - she is the best. She really took care of us. But overall, if it wasn't for my Dad, who immediately diagnosed I should see a specialist and recommended I see his colleague, Dr. Larson, and who watched over me the whole time at his hospital . . . he is the one who kept us together. I cannot begin to express the admiration and love we have for this man.
Not too long ago, I could not even have imagined this. Not too long ago, it was just Michael, Bruno and me. We were trying to START the family we dreamed off - and it was harder than we thought.
Lots of options were explored while I pursued acupuncture, diet changes, eastern medicine, fertility massages (which did have multiple benefits).
We found a wonderful doctor that helped us along the way - Dr. Brian Kaplan. Many visits later - finally success! Over the moon! We excitedly started preparing for our arrival. After the crucial 1st trimester passed, I was getting more pressure from work. Bruno and Gizmo (our family dog) were lying down with me a lot more when I got home. They sensed there was something wrong. Things weren't right. I was directed to bed rest. I thought we were fine. But we weren't. We lost our first baby at home. Devastated does not even begin to describe the pain. The best description I could use - inconsolable. I missed him. I still do. And now, here I am crying as I type.
A friend who lost a child once said, she was no longer afraid of dying, knowing she will see her baby again.
I'll see our Angel again.
As soon as I was able, we were trying for another baby. For folks who have been blessed to start a family easily, you probably are not too familiar with fertility treatments. I thought I understood everything, I discovered I only know a little bit of this science. Even with all the doctor visits, blood tests and medications, the hardest thing to deal with was the wait. How soon can we check if we will be parents? We waited. The wait took years.
Then, during a break from online research, I stumbled upon a foto of a goofy puppy needing a home. Looked like a shepherd, but was half husky. I needed to channel my maternal instinct and convinced Michael we needed to 'foster' this dog. So, we (Michael, Bruno and me), trucked over to the shelter. Whoa. Love at first sight. She bonded immediately with Bruno and made me laugh. Michael said we should just think about it, and I did. I brought her home while Michael was out. Well, Bruno and I did. And Frida moved in (permanently).
Bruno now had to share his castle, but I know he loved having a little side kick. I trained with her, and boy, did she spark some laughter in this house. She would lie in bed with me frequently, but she started lying her head on my belly more and more. A few weeks after Frida came home, we discovered I was pregnant. All that stress to start a family vanished when puppy came to us. She is our little Fertility Dog.
Cautiously optimistic, I did everything I could to play it safe. I didn't even work out. (Well, that was a little more self-serving). Diligently, I went to the doctor each week, blood tests, ultrasounds, CVS (not the drug store), and more. After each trimester, I felt a sense of relief. Then one day, I had a headache I could not get rid of. It got progressively worse. I noticed swelling under my right eye. So, my mom brought me to the doctor. I had an infection. I had to be checked into the hospital immediately. I had to be quarantined as to not make the infection worse. I was 8 months pregnant.
I called Michael to tell him I was being admitted to the hospital, but I had to let work know and asked if he could bring my laptop and an overnight bag. Michael rushed over immediately. And he did bring exactly what I asked for - my laptop - in an overnight bag. And nothing else. Very literal of him. But he was nervous. To make up for an empty overnight bag, he brought over 3 weeks-worth of clothes the next day - mostly pants.
The usual protocol for infection called for medication that would risk putting me in pre-mature labor. I had the MRI, blood tests and an incredible headache throughout. But the one thing I wanted the results on the most was from the pre-natal nurse that came several times a day to check the baby's heartbeat. I anxiously listened to the doppler to make sure baby was ok. Our doctor was incredible. Dr. Patricia Larson - she is the best. She really took care of us. But overall, if it wasn't for my Dad, who immediately diagnosed I should see a specialist and recommended I see his colleague, Dr. Larson, and who watched over me the whole time at his hospital . . . he is the one who kept us together. I cannot begin to express the admiration and love we have for this man.
One week in the hospital. One week at home
with visiting nurses. Then, it was getting ready to welcome baby.
Northwestern Hospital, Prentice Center - newly renovated at the time. We check in to be induced. During labor, the resident doctor noticed the baby's heartbeat decreasing. A loud alarm is pushed, and a team of nurses, medics, etc. come in to determine next course of action. Within 30 seconds, I am wheeled into the E.R. for an emergency C-Section. In my mind, I feared if my baby does not survive this, I don't think I can either. But as I am looking up at the ceiling, I see a smiling face of the best OB-GYN on the planet - Dr. Micah Garb. He looks down at me and simply says, 'looks like he wants to come out a little earlier'. This medical team was on fire. By the time Michael got dressed in the surgical gown and ran into the ER, baby Garrett was waiting for him. I was so pumped full of drugs, I couldn't even hold him till hours later. I used to think those shows that have a mom deliver and cry when her baby was born was so melodramatic. Well, call me a Lifetime movie, I bawled.
We were ECSTATIC. Funniest baby ever. Happiest parents ever. But, the poor baby had to contend with us novices. Feeding, diapering, bathing, car seats - our learning curve was quite steep. Every time we were in public with Garrett, it seemed other parents were trying to be helpful with tips - like how to put the car seat in a grocery cart. Apparently, we looked so inept with our baby, people went out of their way to volunteer some guidance - like from across the store. It was like Amateur night at the Apollo.
Despite his parents' novice-ness, Garrett is an energetic, curious, funny child that we are so blessed to have. And seeing him interact with his cousins during a family vacation to Atlantis, I wanted to have the talk with Michael that we should have another little one. And that most likely meant a long process.
So we get back from the vacation, and we resume our regular lives. Even with all our hectic activities, I still notice Frida has been lying by me a lot, and that I've 'missed' something for a few months. So on a lark, I use an old pregnancy test from the Garrett days - way past expiration. I look at it - hmmmm, not used to seeing this sign before '+'. Oh, it must be defective because it is expired. I'll just get another test in the morning. 4 tests later, I think I better share the news with Michael. His first reaction? Get more tests. Reason? Too hard to believe we would be expecting without having to go thru everything we did last time!
Well, I really enjoyed carrying baby #2. He was a bigger pregnancy and more active baby in the belly. And Frida liked hanging around the belly, because, she did have something to do with it.
And now our big baby is with us and acting just like his big brother, only he smiles a lot more. Boy, are we thankful God saw us fit enough to give us another baby.
Our first baby, we needed a little help to get. Our other baby came along after Garrett paved the way for him. Our 2 little miracles, from both sides of the spectrum.
So, here we are about 7 years later - 2 messy little boys (or 3 if you count Michael), our furry boy - Bruno the guard dog, and our furry girl - Frida the Fertility Dog.
We live in this sty we call our home. And wouldn't have it any other way.
Northwestern Hospital, Prentice Center - newly renovated at the time. We check in to be induced. During labor, the resident doctor noticed the baby's heartbeat decreasing. A loud alarm is pushed, and a team of nurses, medics, etc. come in to determine next course of action. Within 30 seconds, I am wheeled into the E.R. for an emergency C-Section. In my mind, I feared if my baby does not survive this, I don't think I can either. But as I am looking up at the ceiling, I see a smiling face of the best OB-GYN on the planet - Dr. Micah Garb. He looks down at me and simply says, 'looks like he wants to come out a little earlier'. This medical team was on fire. By the time Michael got dressed in the surgical gown and ran into the ER, baby Garrett was waiting for him. I was so pumped full of drugs, I couldn't even hold him till hours later. I used to think those shows that have a mom deliver and cry when her baby was born was so melodramatic. Well, call me a Lifetime movie, I bawled.
We were ECSTATIC. Funniest baby ever. Happiest parents ever. But, the poor baby had to contend with us novices. Feeding, diapering, bathing, car seats - our learning curve was quite steep. Every time we were in public with Garrett, it seemed other parents were trying to be helpful with tips - like how to put the car seat in a grocery cart. Apparently, we looked so inept with our baby, people went out of their way to volunteer some guidance - like from across the store. It was like Amateur night at the Apollo.
Despite his parents' novice-ness, Garrett is an energetic, curious, funny child that we are so blessed to have. And seeing him interact with his cousins during a family vacation to Atlantis, I wanted to have the talk with Michael that we should have another little one. And that most likely meant a long process.
So we get back from the vacation, and we resume our regular lives. Even with all our hectic activities, I still notice Frida has been lying by me a lot, and that I've 'missed' something for a few months. So on a lark, I use an old pregnancy test from the Garrett days - way past expiration. I look at it - hmmmm, not used to seeing this sign before '+'. Oh, it must be defective because it is expired. I'll just get another test in the morning. 4 tests later, I think I better share the news with Michael. His first reaction? Get more tests. Reason? Too hard to believe we would be expecting without having to go thru everything we did last time!
Well, I really enjoyed carrying baby #2. He was a bigger pregnancy and more active baby in the belly. And Frida liked hanging around the belly, because, she did have something to do with it.
And now our big baby is with us and acting just like his big brother, only he smiles a lot more. Boy, are we thankful God saw us fit enough to give us another baby.
Our first baby, we needed a little help to get. Our other baby came along after Garrett paved the way for him. Our 2 little miracles, from both sides of the spectrum.
So, here we are about 7 years later - 2 messy little boys (or 3 if you count Michael), our furry boy - Bruno the guard dog, and our furry girl - Frida the Fertility Dog.
We live in this sty we call our home. And wouldn't have it any other way.
Because I value this gift I call a family, I work hard – to earn, save and at least give a foundation
for my kids. We all do this in some capacity - those more wealthy can leave a
legacy to their causes, or a spouse finally able to offer that once-in-a-lifetime
vacation to his wife.
What life event will inspire you to plan?
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